Anger is a feeling that is or has been a challenge for most of us to accept and express in healthy ways. Collectively, there seems to be lots of messages that we receive about anger being ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ or ‘wrong’.
The reality is that we all know that acting out anger can cause problems in our relationships. The persecutor within us who feels victimized and wants to blame others can be the driving voice of anger. We’ve been the recipient of anger that has left us feeling bruised, either literally or metaphorically, and/or we’ve been the one who has expressed anger and noticed a relationship dissolve because of it.
Some people even say, ’I'm an angry person” or “you’re an angry person”, attaching anger to either their own or someone else’s identity. In other words, it’s like saying, “This is the box of anger that contains me. I see the world and everything in it through this box”.
We likely also know what it’s like to work hard to suppress anger. Afraid of the consequences. Trying to logically talk ourselves out of feeling anger – doing our best to push it away like a meddlesome relative. Turning away from looking underneath the surface of anger where either fear or hurt can live.
What is different when we give ourselves completely to feeling anger? What do we notice at a body level when we open our hearts to anger without resistance? Welcoming it like a lost child coming home…embracing it….entirely feeling the frequency, the vibration, the atmosphere of it? Trusting that it’s just a feeling that is passing through, separate from who we truly are?
Experiment. The next time anger visits you, focus on your heart. Place your hand there and breathe into and out from the heart. Give yourself permission to truly feel the anger, all of it. It sometimes helps to have a witness support and encourage you in this. Be with the anger completely and simply notice.
I courageously meet the anger that comes to visit me, and I feel its true power. Hand on heart, I allow myself to feel the frequency of anger with openness and love. I listen for the message it gives me.
Please feel free to comment through this blog about the self-discovery that occurs.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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