How do you define inner confidence?
In my work as an inner confidence coach, I have explored this topic deeply both personally and professionally. I define inner confidence as being the sense of wholeness, aliveness, and peace that comes from deeply knowing yourself, accepting both the lightness and darkness of being human, and freely expressing the gifts that your true self has to offer this world.
These are what I see as the six keys to inner confidence that continue to evolve for me as I deepen my exploration and experience:
Key #1: You deeply know the Self – that which is aware of each present moment. In awareness, you experience the spaciousness/peace/stillness that is your natural state when you ask yourself: “who am I?”. You observe the movie of your life from the couch rather than completely identifying with the movie itself. In other words, as you are not identified with the mind, the body, the feelings so there is a capacity to detach from the drama that circumstances can create and experience less and less emotional reactivity. You see with clarity beyond the emotionally-charged thoughts of the mind that keep you attached to old conditioning and habits.
Key #2: You know the self in terms of personality – your passions, values, purpose, gifts, and how you can best serve the world. From this place of curiosity and self-discovery, you listen to your dreams and set intentions from your heart. You stay in your own movie and direct your energy in ways that feel in integrity to you. You navigate through any obstacles that stop you from fully expressing your true self. Dancing with your own life, your gifts flow freely to others.
Key #3: You are committed to slow down and be in the silence. In taking time to simply be, you get connected to your feelings, your body’s sensations, and to your natural state. In this silence, your body softens and rests into the present moment. Your heart opens. Love is experienced as a flow outward to others. This deep connection to your core carries over into all aspects of your life.
Key #4: In a willingness to embrace ALL feelings that arise, you accept the feeling of insecurity as well as the feeling of confidence – without judgment and preference for one over the other. In other words, you are able to compassionately and lovingly accept whatever arises in the moment – opening to all of life. You welcome all feelings and thoughts as part of the human journey. In welcoming feelings instead of pushing them away, the story that has accompanied feelings falls away. Present and aware, you are able to respond to life rather than react.
Key #5: You stop striving to fix yourself or others. When you stop seeing yourself as broken and having to change, you are then able to hold this place for others, particularly in your intimate relationships. Control and manipulation drop away. You stop grasping for more and more and more in the pursuit of happiness, perfection, enlightenment. You accept what is.
Key #6: Your gifts flow freely to others. This occurs naturally from a place of being yourself and giving yourself wholeheartedly to whatever stands in front of you.
To integrate these key to inner confidence is a journey that has nothing to do with reaching a goal of perfection and everything to do with letting go.
With a witness and guide, a new level of living life happens. This path is worth the pursuit. Feeling whole, alive, and peaceful make all the difference in love and life. This isn’t about perfection
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.