Hi everyone! Welcome to new readers, and welcome back to those of you who visit time and time again. As you read this month’s note to you, my invitation is that you drop into the awareness of your breath, the sensation of your body as it settles into the chair, and any thoughts and feelings that arise. Simply notice. In this present state, my hope is that you open your heart to an even deeper awareness of what is there for you as you relate to the ‘other’ in front of you who is essentially ‘you’.
Making it Real An old friend of mine shared, "I marvel at what my friends teach me". She wasn't talking about learning from her many friends how to improve her gardening skills or understanding more deeply the complexities of politics. She was addressing the emotional charges, the judgmental thoughts, the highs and lows of relating to others and what she learns about herself through such exchanges. She holds herself 100% accountable for her growth in relating to others from a place of real curiosity and a commitment to love. Sounds like a wonderful concept, appreciating what she can learn from others, doesn’t it? And how do we actually live that way? How do we hold ourselves responsible so solidly that we stay open-hearted, real, and curious in the midst of all the messiness that being in close relationships can bring? How do we appreciate the opportunities that our relationships give us to learn about deep love? In my view, the foundational step on this journey to relate responsibly, authentically, and lovingly to others is to cultivate our connection to our true nature. What is our true nature? When we deeply look for who or what is experiencing any moment, in other words, who is aware, we find stillness. This experience of stillness or spaciousness is sometimes described as peace, silence, bliss, oneness, or joy. It is from this spaciousness that we can then look into the eyes of the other and see the same spaciousness looking back at us. And this ability to live and experience others from spaciousness changes everything. It is from spaciousness that we can be aware of the fleeting thoughts and feelings that come and go in any given day. When we notice judgmental thoughts, charged points of view, feelings, and sensations in the body, the art is to welcome in whatever we discover instead of pushing what we don’t want to experience away or projecting it ‘out there’ onto someone else. In other words, the practice is to stop resisting reality. In this practice of openness, we accept that thoughts - whether they are negative or positive - are a natural part of being human. They come and go as feelings do. It is the energy we give our thoughts that makes the difference. We also give ourselves permission to completely feel what is to be felt. We understand that by experiencing the complete range of feelings available to humanity without resistance, our sense of aliveness increases. Because we don't make ourselves wrong for having judgments, emotional charges, and highs and lows in our relationships, we are able to simply be with the learning at hand. In spaciousness, we can actually feel in awe of what we are learning from a loving and compassionate place. In this way, we can be true students of life - alive and appreciative of the many opportunities that come our way to expand. Like my friend, we can marvel at what our loved ones can teach us. With this practice, we hone in on our ability to take our humanness lightly, yet, responsibly (“Oops, I could have done that differently - how great to see that so clearly!”). We appreciate all that life teaches us - through circumstances, through relationships, and through connecting ever deeper with ourselves. Wonderful tools can support you in embracing whatever charges that you notice. I welcome you to call or email me during this month of October to book a free consultation for you to release the power of a highly-charged emotion so you can drop back into peace, which is your natural state. In the spirit of being complete and not finished,
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