With intentions to stop putting yourself last in your list of priorities and to live life grounded in who you are, it's important to explore what compromise means to you. What are the compromises in your life that you have made for the sake of your relationships? Why? Is it so easy for you to compromise that you often find yourself at the other end of the spectrum - compromising too much? How do you know if over-compromising is a pattern of yours? Feeling angry and resentful about the amount that you are giving may be a strong indicator. No one can determine what your standards for compromise are...except you. The benchmark when you're out of balance in this art is the degree of resentment and anger which is present when you have, in fact, compromised. Taking the time to be mindful about what is happening within you - energetically, physically, emotionally - and being honest with yourself in terms of what you find is really important. You will then know where you stand regarding compromise in any situation. You will have the opportunity to look at yourself and address what it is that you truly want.
How do you know it's right for you to compromise? Your words, thoughts and actions line up to the point that you feel energized. There is no doubt. At a heart level, you want to do this.
I am exploring this as my partner and I set up a home together. We both have different ideas in terms of order and colour and use of space...some of the time. Navigating our way through this takes listening, trusting our strengths....and compromise. Win/win resolutions are what we want because, in the final analysis, the relationship is what we're holding as the deciding factor. What does this relationship need? How can two people reach that place during the dance of compromise so that both feel free from anger and resentment and want to make the compromises that are required? The saga...and my own learning...continues.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.