Once a year for the past eighteen years, I have been blessed to spend three days in the Canadian North with five dear women friends. As we are all trained in personal growth facilitation, we have used this time to support each other in dealing with the events of the year prior and jump starting what's next.
As you can imagine, we have been through much together - the death of one of the women in our circle, the birth of grandchildren, the death of a grown son, the divorce of another son, my own divorce - and the list goes on, like life. 2009 saw one of us lose her husband to a rare disease.
This circle of friends/professionals was a safe place for her to truly share her grief this year - and she did just that. Her biggest challenge was coming to terms with her husband's life as a seeker. He had been completely dedicated to dealing with issues from his past, healing any health problems, fixing any relationship that was out of tune, and taking training to learn more and more skills. He was caught in the search for MORE - striving to be perfect.
He didn't see his strengths. He didn't realize that he had helped hundreds and hundreds of people as a facilitator just for who he was. He never came to the place where he really got that he was "good enough" - that he was, in fact, perfect just the way he was.
He didn't let go of seeking - as he aged well into his 60's - hence, he didn't truly rest in the stillness and spaciousness that was present for him every moment of his life. And, in spite of it all, he got a disease so rare that it could never have been prevented. In the end, Life had its way.
What would have been different for him if the foundational belief that drove his life wasn't "I'm not good enough"? That was the grief that his widow expressed - and the sadness that continues as she comes to terms with his life and death.
I stop seeking for more and rest in who I truly am. Good enough/not good enough. These concepts stop driving my life. I am still. I rest and relish in the simple pleasures of Life.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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