We can find ourselves in the trap of seeking approval from others. The cost is that we lose ourselves. Knowing this at a head level is different from living this deep in our bones. The 'deep-in-our-bones' piece is a lifetime practice. I really don't think there is an end point - a time when this no longer is an issue for us.
Approval-seeking can show up in subtle ways throughout a lifetime. When we're stressed or vulnerable, it is so easy...and human...to slip into giving our power away to a loved one or wanting to be seen as 'good' or being attached and determined to be 'right'.
The key is that, with time, we hone in on our observer more effectively. We watch our thoughts and behaviour with awareness and can then use our power of choice to think and behave differently.
Loving awareness. Gently noticing. Stepping out of the story. Bringing ourselves back again to our center by focussing on the present. We can do these steps. We can practise this level of self-care and appreciation.
My invitation is to visit www.thework.org for a wonderful practice in challenging our thinking/story.
I practise true self-esteem by noticing with love when I seek approval from others. I draw myself back to my core. I know that all approval begins and ends with me. I focus on what is right about me.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.