Our relationships hold the potential for discovering more and more about ourselves. If we are willing to learn, relationships are a powerful teacher that can propel us forward. The closer the relationship, the more intense the learning about love. Think about the relationships you have with your partner, children, parents, siblings, co-workers. Some of those relationships probably flow with ease, and some are challenging. The challenging relationships provide the opportunity for tremendous growth.
When you choose to live a conscious life, you take on the lifelong process of learning to relate to others through the heart. The path of the heart deepens you and expands your capacity to experience the great love and infinite compassion of the Universe. This has been true in my own life, and I am grateful.
Relationships can trigger emotional reactions. To bring consciousness to this emotional charge, ask yourself: what is this showing me about myself? An honest, courageous answer becomes a gift of self-discovery. You learn about your unique strengths, and your weaknesses.
When you stand in this powerful question, you live in a grounded way that is all about taking complete responsibility for yourself. You lean inward instead of out there—where you get lost in someone else’s experience instead of your own.
The conscious life is about truly knowing yourself. You purposefully seek to see and embrace what is there. The natural self who is present and creatively responsive (instead of reactive) gradually emerges in its own way and its own time.
This process of self-discovery is gentle and kind and doesn’t threaten your personality.
As you feel safe, you allow yourself to see more deeply: your needs, attachments, vulnerabilities, and beliefs that protect the heart. You see the places where you want it “your way”. You see the element of self-gain when you try to fix or change a relationship, and where this opens the door to control and manipulation.
The key on this path of relationship is to really get, in your very cells, that any upset, any trigger, is ALL ABOUT YOU. With time, kindness, trust, and honesty on this wonderful and challenging path, you discover freedom. Your habitual patterns in relating to others no longer drive you.
Your open heart allows you to experience, at deeper and deeper levels, that there is no ‘other’.
Practice: Relax your body and rest comfortably. Bring to mind a person with whom you are having difficulty. Imagine that they are sitting in front of you. Look deeply into their eyes. Notice the colour of their eyes. Notice the expression in their eyes.
Feel what’s in your heart as you are being with this person. Accept whatever you find within you. Rest ever more deeply into this.
Simply notice in this moment as insights arise as you tune into the question: what is this relationship showing me about me?
I’d love to hear about your experience!
With Love, Jeannie