The Judgment Pit

Evaluating our behaviour is common to all of us. Did we get it right or were we wrong? Did we choose the high road or the low road? Do we feel bad about ourselves and our choices or feel good  about who we are and how we behaved?

Over and over, I see naturally-giving, loving people ask themselves these questions to the point that they are suffering with self-doubt. Judgment breeds blame, whether it be of self or others. It can stop us in our tracks from feeling happiness, peace and love.

Those who usually give themselves the hardest rap are often people who truly want to be their best selves and whose innate goodness is so apparent. The pit is that they expect themselves to be perfect.

Is this you?

What is another way of being with yourself and the myriad of choices that are yours to make in life? What will support you in keeping your heart open to yourself and others regardless of the behaviour?

I, too, know the judgment pit. The key is to develop a new practice to be with the old conditioning/paradigm of black and white, good and evil, right and wrong, good and bad thinking.

This is what has made a difference to me when I am conscious and connected to myself:

  • I catch myself when I am thinking in terms of duality. We are Life which includes our humanness and Divinity; our perfection and our imperfection.
  • What I know is that my intention is to love and, sometimes, I slip. I allow myself to reflect on how I handled a situation if my conscience gives me a nudge to do this. I listen to feedback from others along with my inner wisdom and knowing. I open myself to learning new skills and/or new ways of looking at situations.
  • I pause, breathe and stop feeding the mind that judges. I give myself permission to feel. I listen. I tell my heart: "I love you".
  • I do my best to be compassionate with others as with myself, humbly reminding myself that we are One.


I am Life. I walk this earth deeply knowing that there is no right or wrong in the big picture. I trust my path. The more that I lovingly and compassionately be with my doubts and transgressions, the more I allow love to heal the old conditioning. My heart leads; my light shines. Particularly in the stillness, I am in touch with my Divinity.


© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Ownto support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit