Self-doubt rears its head within all of us. For different reasons. At different times in our lives. For some, it can be a habit - old conditioning which was learned when young. For others, self-doubt grew over time as a result of painful experiences.
Being at peace with our decisions feels good; feeling doubtful can be very uncomfortable and unsettling. Trying to avoid self-doubt or making ourselves wrong for feeling that way doesn't really work.
What's a loving way of being with ourselves when we're feeling doubtful? For instance, it's helpful to get curious and notice the patterns of doubt in our lives - how it shows up, when, what are the over-and-over themes, and what are the typical triggers and reactions. The more aware we are, the more we are able to tap into our Wise Observer - simply noticing what our mind is saying without trying to fix.
For me, doubt appears when I reach a degree of dissatisfaction. Somehow something isn't working according to my expectations or wants. I start to question my choices - my inner authority. The 'should' word comes up and then I'm on a roll, unless I stop and notice. Breathe. I then ask myself: What is the story that I'm telling myself? What do I really know? What is the Big Picture here?
Sometimes, I notice and allow myself to feel that dissatisfaction and get curious about where it shows up at a body level. Again, without a story attached to it. I may ask myself if there is a message here for me. I take the time to quiet my mind, get into my center, and listen.
Feeling self-doubt is part of being human. It can serve us - in knowing and accepting ourselves, in providing new opportunities to learn, and in deeply listening to our true wants and needs.
When doubt comes to visit me, I welcome it. Without taking it personally, I get curious. I explore its message. I thank it for giving me the opportunity to learn about myself and to compassionately accept myself at ever deeper levels.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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