The Ego and Equality

How does a healthy ego show up in our relationships, especially with our significant other?

Remembering that our ego is about finding our place in the world, a default position when we are stressed is to believe that we are either inferior or superior to others. This belief plays a part in how we react to others and can lead to power struggles, especially with our mates. We can defend our actions, try to prove ourselves, vie for the one-up position, argue, have to be right and/or only see our own perspective. This level of communication does not point us toward intimacy.

If we often taken the stance that we are less than another, it makes sense that we would choose a mate that likely takes the opposite stance which is: I am better than. This choice was likely made at an unconscious level. This person who we fell in love with likely appeared confident. In truth, both stances come from an insecure place. A healthy ego reflects the message from our soul which says: I am equal.

When we make the decision to listen to our soul and live from "I am equal", how do we stay out of the perspective of our mate's which might continue to be, "I am inferior or superior"?

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© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

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