What I know from experience is that our inner child, that feeling part of us where our deepest wounds often reside, can show up in our relationshipsâ€¦and sometimes drive them. This especially happens when we're stressed.
That part so wants love and attention, and we can mistakenly seek that love and attention from others, especially our significant other. When we don't get what we want, we can then act out by withdrawing, manipulating, over processing or speaking out with anger and blame - to name a few.
For me, I can express my emotions with much intensity. I can come across as being angry while I'm really very hurt. I can then feel driven to work it out and spiral into processingâ€¦a lot. Others can find it easier to show their hurt rather than their anger and then withdraw. Self-awareness about the way your own inner child acts up is an important first step.
I've learned that remembering to breathe make a big difference. I work out with my clients other strategies that will work for them. What is most helpful is owning and accepting that the habitual patterns will emerge at times, it's part of being human and challenges us to practise forgiveness.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
If you would like to use this article, written by Jeannie Campanelli, on your website or in your own e-newsletter, you MUST include the following:
Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.