I have a bulletin board in my office where I post sources of inspiration - photos, quotes, powerful questions, reminders. From an ad for something I no longer remember, I posted a collection of wonderful words:
Confidence. Moxie. Pizzazz. Oomph. Sparkle. Guts. Peace. Momentum. Zing. Nerve. Pep. Glee. Shine.
It’s easy to gravitate to these qualities and feelings. Our culture places them on a pedestal – and many people do their best to cultivate these qualities within themselves. People may make them part of their persona, even when they do not feel these things. The persona is the mask that they show the world.
Our culture’s insistence on optimism and positive thinking is a form of conditioning.
We are expected to express cheerfulness and a ‘can do’ attitude, regardless of whatever else may be present. It’s a mask that is supposed to get us by, to help us feel powerful and safe, to get respect. The manufactured kind of ‘oomph’, ‘moxie’ or ‘zing’ is not true confidence.
Inner confidence, inner ‘pizzazz’, inner ‘glee’ comes from a different kind of place.
You experience that difference intuitively. There’s one kind of energy when you are working hard to present yourself in a certain calculated way. You’re listening to the mind’s messages about how you should act.
There’s a very different energy when you are simply being yourself, naturally and spontaneously. That’s inner confidence. It flows from Presence through your personality in a unique way.
Inner confidence supports you in feeling fully alive, inspired, flowing in the moment.
When you live in the moment, present within your body, you can truly experience ‘glee’ and ‘nerve’ and ‘zing’. And you will also experience anger, resentment, hate, despair, disappointment.
Living in presence, you open yourself to experience ALL that it is. With no walls. With no shoulds or shouldn’ts. In the body. In the heart. Without a story.
This is wholeness.
Authenticity and vulnerability leave the door open to genuine ‘momentum’, ‘sparkle’, and ‘sass’.
There is no forcing here. No grasping. True confidence which is energetically palpable and magnetic simply arises.
This month, set the intention to truly notice when sadness or insecurity arises.
Without trying to understand why and how, without any apology or attempt to get rid of what’s here in the moment, allow yourself to be with those feelings. Give yourself permission to let go of any image of how you’re ‘supposed’ to show up with others. Simply be yourself in all of your humanness.
I’d love to hear what you discover.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.