I certainly know that feeling of looking to another for validation, especially in my relationship to my significant other. This happens less and less for me. Now when I find myself in that place, I know that it's a cue that I'm away from my own center. What I've noticed is that when I'm looking out there to feel confirmed...yes, he does love me...it is all about me. And my attention is out there on him. That is not a loving place, and neither of us benefit. I write this without judgment as I simply notice my behaviour and name it honestly. Then I have the opportunity to choose how I want to be.
It feels so expansive and grounding to first focus on giving love and acceptance to myself and then exuding that energy outward to him without expectations. Our relationship then thrives.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.