We have a human tendency to fix. To try to fix is more the reality as the fixer so often feels victimized by the powerlessness of not being able to 'fix' another person. The Women's Circles are about service of another. We gently and softly hold space for each other to truly be where we are as we are. This is love in action.
A fixer has the illusion of being causal. A server knows he/she is being used in the service of something greater, essentially unknown.
We fix something specific. We serve always the something: wholeness and the mystery of life.
Fixing and helping are the work of the ego Serving is the work of the soul.
When you help you see life as weak. When you fix you see life as broken. When you serve you see life as whole.
Fixing and helping may cure. Service heals.
When I help, I feel satisfaction. When I serve, I feel gratitude.
Fixing is a form of judgment. Serving is a form of connection.
Seeing yourself as a fixer may cause you to see brokenness everywhere, to sit in judgment of life itself.
When we fix others, we may not see their hidden wholeness or trust the integrity of the life in them. Fixers trust their own expertise.
When we serve, we see the unborn wholeness in others; we collaborate with it and strengthen it. Others may then be able to see their wholeness for themselves for the first time.
~ Rachel Naomi Remen