How to Be with Insecurity

As an inner confidence coach, I often hear clients voice frustration about their feelings of insecurity. The inner critic is angry that they're even feeling insecure - that they can't get rid of that old feeling which follows them places where they don't want it to go.

I understand. I, too, know about insecurity. And what I've learned through my years of working with many, many people in the education and counselling fields is that it is natural and human to feel insecure. Everyone does - at times and usually in certain areas. Some people are just better at hiding it, even from themselves. It can be easier to deny or blame rather than deeply look inside, feel the pain of insecurity and learn about dealing with it.

There is no judgment in this. Not everyone's journey is to place a conscious focus on personal growth. Everyone's mind is busy - for some, their attention is on details, figuring out the how-to in completing a project, continual to-do lists or the media. For people who lead with their feelings and intuition, the inner chatter can often focus on self-judgment due to high expectations born from past conditioning and outdated beliefs.

How do you deal with insecurity?

  • Know that it's an energy that's visiting you for a time. It isn't who you truly are.
  • Avoid using 'my' in front of security to support you in not taking it personally.
  • Thank the insecurity for bringing to your attention another opportunity to embrace yourself with understanding and compassion. That in itself is healing.
  • The vulnerable, 'inner' child that is within all of us needs to feel heard and loved.
  • When the feeling comes, take the time to reflect on what story you're telling yourself. Is it true?  What is a belief that needs to be challenged?


I am aware of my breath and rest in the present moment. I open my heart to all of my feelings and experiences.


© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

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