Following the vein of my last post, being with family over the holidays can be challenging. Not every member of a family has a history of positive, heart connections with each other. There is an ideal, and then there is reality.
Expectations of the season coupled with old 'stuff' between family members -amped up by stress - can create charged emotions. Knowing ways of dealing with the feelings and situations that may arise during a holiday, family get-together is useful. The intention is to create equanimity. Equanimity is about embracing it all. We open ourselves to 'what is' without resistance.
Practicing equanimity can look like this. We observe others behaviour from a place of curiosity, knowing deep in our hearts that their 'stuff' belongs to them, not us. We are resourceful and whole. They are resourceful and whole. Boundaries are clear. Differences are accepted.
Taking the time to be centered is the key first step - the most caring gift that we can give to ourselves. Pausing. Breathing. Relaxing into the present moment. Feeling our body settle into a chair. Resting. Opening to what is happening internally in the moment. Knowing that taking action can essentially be about remaining silent and simply being with what is happening. Sensing at a body level, noticing our thoughts, opening to the feelings, stopping the story that we may be telling ourselves.
I take the time to learn about myself as well as learn the skills that will help me stay present and open. I am worthy of this. From this place of presence, I respond to others in new ways. I know at my core that all is well. I am okay. 'They' are okay. Life goes on.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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