The older I get, the more deeply I appreciate that wonderful balance of having friends along with a 'significant other'. Even though it can be a challenge at times due to home, work and family commitments, it's vital to a sense of wholeness.
For me, I notice that female friends offer a level of connection that is so different from what I have with my life mate. Not better. Just different. That difference is what adds richness to my life. The sharing, support, like-mindedness, truth-telling, camaraderie (all that and more) supports me in staying in touch with myself and nourishes my soul.
I've challenged clients who have rules that when they're in a romantic relationship, the relationship comes before all other relationships. Is that helpful? What would it be like to let go of that 'rule' or old pattern and include all relationships in your circle of support and love? How might that deepen your ability to take responsibility for your life?
After those special times with my own company and that of close friends, I am able to be there for my life partner without any expectations. I meet him with a full plate, so to speak. I can then fully appreciate what he has to offer my life - a male perspective that can expand my world, the pleasure that he gets from giving to me, the artisanship that combines with my skills to create a home, the very practical input that handles the many details that aren't my 'cup of tea', and the romance - can't forget that!
I open myself to ALL who are in my circle of love. I honour the particular flow of each flavour of what that love looks like. I am blessed and appreciate it all.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Own” to support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.