The pain-body lives mostly in the realm of the wounded inner child. Our experiences may have further anchored the pain, and I believe that for us to attract the circumstances into our lives that we did, the pain originated at another time and place. Knowing all the details about the pain's origin isn't the point. What is important is recognizing that it is the pain-body that's crying out when we feel off balance within ourselves and our relationships. Addressing our pain body in the present is the key.
One way is to be aware of the pain-body and get back into the present moment - in other words, a change of focus. In "A New Earth", Tolle writes about this with much wisdom.
Another is to be with the inner child's feelings with love and compassion - truly listening to what wants to be expressed from this core place. And, sometimes, the way is to take a stand for yourself in whatever way that looks like.
I notice that when I take a stand by truly listening to myself (that includes my inner child) and what I want and expressing that in my significant relationships, I feel grounded and clear and free. For me, the key is how I express it - my pain-body isn't the one who needs to lead the way in this. During the times that I'm truly in the center of it (which happens to us all regardless of the amount of personal healing and awareness), it is best that I stay with my mindfulness practice.
Clear communication that is in truth and integrity is a practice that takes time to integrate. A supportive coach makes a significant difference in walking this new path.
I listen to myself, including my inner child. I take a stand for myself with grace and ease. I am worthy.