Sometimes the choice is big: Do I leave my job? Do I accept this new job? Do I get married? Do I get a divorce? Where is the best place to live?
Or the choice might be as small as: do I speak up about what’s bothering me?
You notice the thoughts passing through your mind. Which path do I take? What should - or shouldn’t - I do? What is right - or wrong - for me? What do I want - or don’t want?
As you try to figure this out, you feel confused and your mind feels like it’s in overdrive. Energy is swirling around inside your body, yet your creative juices are frozen. You feel disconnected to yourself, and ungrounded. You are suspended in the effort to decide, and you’re exhausted.
Does this sound familiar? Can you identify with this?
When we’re in the midst of a big choice and find ourselves at a standstill, it is usually because we have contradictory points of view. The mind is trying to figure it all out - logically, practically, predictably.
The mind loves the status quo. It only knows what it knows, so it can lead us down a circular path to nowhere. Round and round and round.....
The reality is that there are a thousand choices (at least) that we make every day as we face the big and the small decisions. Choices about how we spend our time, energy and resources.
The more conscious we are in making choices, the more possibilities there are for us to live our lives in an honest, free, and simple way.
Four Principles to Support You in Making Choices
- Write down the opposing points of view that are blocking you from moving forward. Then look at each one and ask yourself powerful questions: Is this true? Would everyone agree?This practice helps us drop into reality rather than live the land of assumptions.
- When you notice that your mind is going in circles as you try to decide, drop down into the heart. Turning inward and moving the energy DOWN from the head into the body, into the heart, grounds us and leads us into an inner knowing of what’s true for us.This is a practice that is gradually integrated with time and attention, particularly with the support of a witness/guide.
- When you make a heart choice, the losses that are part of any choice are much more easily absorbed by the heart.
- Know your biggest priority in life. This simplifies this process of making choices. To know what is most important, you must rest in your heart - deeply - and experience its yearning. The heart will show you why you are alive and what has the most meaning.When you commit to living a conscious, purposeful life based on this heart truth, you will make choices from an entirely different perspective.
There is an element of the unknown in all our choices as we cannot predict the future. Step by step, you will learn to trust your heart, your inner knowing. You will know in your bones that there is truly no right or wrong choice.
The real key is accepting the choice that has come from your heart. It is inherently trusting that life is unfolding for you, and all is perfect.
Focus on an important choice in your life. Notice the confusion, the feeling of ‘stuckness’, the discomfort that arises in the body. With nothing to do or fix, simply notice all that arises.
Give yourself the gift of time to welcome each guest - each thought, each feeling, each sensation - that comes to visit in your heart. Just listen to what emerges.
What is it like for you when bring everything back to you in your own heart? Where does it lead you?