Being Over-demanding...of Ourselves

I revisited an old personal habit today as I had the privilege to witness a client explore her over-demanding self. Our work together highlighted how we can expect so much from ourselves. What can then result is that we demand too much from others. It makes sense to me. Being self-demanding fosters neediness - a depletion of energy that exhausts our spirits and can have us looking to others for support.

There is nothing wrong with finding support from others. The times that find us feeling needy - originating from the land of 'shoulds' - are usually NOT when we are straightforward and direct about asking for support. Instead, we can manipulate or try to control others which back fires in the end. In other words, we can become a victim of our own expectations of ourselves and others.

A powerful shift occurs when we stop and listen to our inner, wounded child and provide the love and acceptance that is really needed. Todays client opened herself to embracing ALL of her feelings far away from the demand to be whole and confident and altogether. She felt such relief when she chose to accept her humanness. What a courageous act.


All of my feelings are okay. I listen to their messages. I take every opportunity to give myself love and acceptance.


© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people’s needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled “Notes on Claiming Your Life as Your Ownto support you in feeling the serenity, vitality and wholeness that comes from inner confidence. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in this journey home to yourself. Visit