Making changes - real changes - takes time. There's a wonderful book called, "Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward". This book clearly provides a change map that helps us understand and be patient with ourselves as we move toward new ways of thinking, being and acting.
Rushing through life has us lose our connection to ourselves. Rushing through learning something new (a true and lasting change) has us miss the depth of what's there for us. The reality is it takes time to learn a new way, such as a new way of being with our feelings.
The first step is to identify where we're at. We may be at the pre-contemplation stage - past denial when new awarenesses are gradually coming to the forefront either through feedback from others or our own internal noticing. At this point, we start to open to the possibility of what's there - increasing our consciousness. Contemplation is the next stage when we explore how life could be different for us. This is the place of where we consider the consequences of change to ourselves and our world. It's where we foster the emotional energy that we need to inspire us as we move forward through each stage to come. Decisions are to be made - leading us onto the next stage which is preparation. This stage is vital - it's where you need to focus on successfully living your vision - being the change. You're now committed and creating a plan and having a witness makes all the difference. The next stage has you slowing down, relaxing, and consciously taking action. Thinking in new ways comes from a place of responding instead of reacting. The final stage is maintenance which is all about living the change.
Today take time to reflect on a change that is speaking to you. When you see change as one baby step at a time, what do you notice at a body-sensate level? My experience is that clients take a sigh of relief as the pressure lifts. In processing out loud and being witnessed in their journey of expansion and growth through each stage with its accompanying baby steps, they feel engaged with their life at a new level - trusting, connected, and enjoying the impact of what they are creating for themselves.
I am worthy of taking all the time that I need to learn and integrate what I want for myself. I patiently and lovingly be with my process - one stage at a time - trusting that I am on my unique path. I'm excited about where I'm heading. My connection with the loving and compassionate Impartial Witness that lives within me is growing.
© 2009 Jeannie Campanelli, Inner Confidence Coaching. All Rights Reserved.
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Jeannie Campanelli, Ed.D, CPCC, partners with naturally-giving men and women who often put other people's needs in front of their own. As a consequence, they are not connected to themselves. Jeannie offers a free e-newsletter titled Claiming Your Life as Your Own: knowing, loving and being yourself. When you subscribe, you will receive a free guided visualization to support you in your journey. Visit www.innerconfidencecoaching.com.