A Key to Building Self-Confidence

A Key to Building Self-Confidence

In the midst of difficult times, we can forget the special resource living within us that has brought us through situations when we felt pressured or trapped or challenged. This inner resource, available to everyone, is a source of solidity and strength that lives at your core and can carry you through adversity. It shows up uniquely when you remember to tap into it. Knowing how to reach it is important in building a sense of security and self-trust.

Although the resource varies according to each person, it has common elements. It lives in your body - we actually have a visceral feeling attached to it. Different from a stress response - that fight, freeze or flight response which is accompanied by adrenalin - this resource feels like it comes from a wise, grounded place within you. The best of you comes forward as you breathe deeply.

Many of us may not be able to readily identify our own resource and, therefore, are unable to acknowledge and fully appreciate it. There’s great value in knowing your strength as you can then consciously apply it to whatever you are facing now. Life has its ups and downs - disappointments and failures, fears and hurts, deaths and births, loss and transitions, times of oneness and separateness.

What would be different for you if you knew beyond a doubt that an inner resource is available to you in times of need?  What would be different if you knew at a body level what it felt like to tap into this resource?

For me, I think back to a time when I left my marriage and, as a result, lost everything financially (other than my clothes, some furniture and various personal and home belongings). I realized that the resource that I have within me is self-discipline and a sense of purpose that loves to be channeled through a project. In this case, for a time, placing me on stable financial ground became my project.

Through that resource, I now know that my resiliency and resourcefulness gives me an inner security that can’t be taken away. I also am aware that this strength lives within my heart center where I feel focused and alive. That same energy that carried me through that challenge can be tapped into whenever I need it.

While leading clients through this process, I am able to help them identify their own inner resource and then consciously apply it to their current situations. For one client, her inner resource is an ability to see the humour and laugh…a lot, even during the toughest of times. For another, it’s a sense of determination and focus to creatively find the answers and move through any challenge. A client found that her resource is about tapping into the ability to think out-of-the-box. Another has an intuitive ability to see the ‘big picture’ by imagining what the current state looks like from the vantage point of a year in the future. All have been identified and explored at a body level where this resource lives inside of them so that they truly get what it feels like to reach into their core.

Through the following questions and your responses to them at a body level, you will be guided in discovering more about what your particular resource looks and feels like. It might be helpful for you to begin by reading the following paragraphs in italics first and then putting the directions into practice.


Find a quiet and private space. Through your breath (inhaling and exhaling through your nostrils), close your eyes and go to a still place deep inside of you. Think back to a time in your life in which you struggledand succeeded in moving forward. You felt proud of the way you handled this situation. You knew that you had to draw upon everything inside of you to be able to do this. 

Remember and re-enact the posture that typified that time. What does it feel like in your body? Where in your body do you feel it most? 

What do you remember drawing on inside of you that helped you through this? How did you do this? Show your appreciation for this wonderful quality that you have inside your core.
Now be with a current struggle for you and apply this resource to the now. What does that feel like in your body? What changes when you are aware of that inner resource that’s inside of you? What are the insights that arise as you look at the world through the eyes of your core strength?

Breathe. Appreciate. Acknowledge…yourself.

When you honour yourself by taking the time to acknowledge your core strength, you not only gain a new awareness. Your inner confidence grows as you claim more of who you truly are.

I’d love to hear about what you experience.

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