A colleague and friend used the phrase, “an unshakeable connection to my core” while sharing with me about herself, and my whole body smiled upon hearing it. I love that phrase!
That unshakeable connection to the core of you is inner confidence, and inner confidence coaching is about building the resources to be able to touch this connection more…and more…and more deeply. It’s the foundation from which to navigate through the challenges of life.
This precious connection surpasses all others because it impacts how you experience each moment. It opens up the possibility for you to know in your bones pure love, joy, safety, trust, faith, wholeness, aliveness and so much more.
It impacts every connection you will make with another human being.
The core of your humanity can be called source, essence, the spark of the divine, soul, true self – that name-it-what-you-will mystery which is forever present when you turn inward. The heart is the way in.
From my experience, the key to opening the heart, the doorway into connecting with your core, is to energetically, in-the-body FEEL all that is present. This is particularly important if it’s a painful feeling as the human tendency is to resist pain.
As the years go by, it is the rare person in life who gets by without any wounds or trauma – and blessedly so. It is pain that has the potential to break open the heart, to soften the heart, and to be compassionate, gentle, and kind from the heart. Riding the pain through the heart downward into its energetic root will lead you to experiencing the ever-deepening love that is at your core.
In other words, vulnerability is a practice that will support you in deeply knowing that unshakeable connection to your core.
Being vulnerable to feel what touches you will support you to live an authentic life from the essence of who you are. ‘Being’ is the operative word as it’s from this grounded, centered, aware place that you consciously stay with the feelings that arise, without identifying with or analyzing them.
It’s important to note: it is unfair to expect that the triggers of your past wounds and trauma will be overcome so that you will never react again. You aren’t meant to behave perfectly. After that initial, momentary, habitual reaction to whatever life is placed in front of you, you have the choice to go within and DIRECTLY feel. In this, there is no need to express any story that your mind is telling you.
You can courageously choose to practice the art of keeping your heart open, being vulnerable, and giving yourself permission to be honest about what you are feeling.
Practice:
Notice when you are having an upsetting interaction with your mate, close friend, or a family member. Instead of expressing yourself immediately (reactive mode), turn inward to feel what is present within you. Welcome this feeling into your heart and give it permission to be what it is. Focus on the physical sensations of the feeling, opening every cell in your body to what is here now, following it down to its very root.
Simply notice the thoughts without analyzing or fighting with them. Keep refocussing to stay with the feeling in your body.
As you learn to directly be with your own feelings, notice how you can simply be with the feelings of a person who is close to you.
In the spirit of being complete and not finished,
With love,
*The creator of this month’s image is unknown. Please let me know if it was done by you.
A small, simple word for a quality that has such potential to have a far-reaching impact on your life. I’ve included a photo of the sculpture, Onion Girl, by Ann Fleming who writes: “Along the way of our journey through life the beauty of who we are sometimes gets lost in layers of protection like the layers of an onion. This piece is about letting the light shine down on our beautiful uniqueness.”
